August

Issue 47

I stopped with one foot in the air, my next step unfinished. On the rocky path before me lay a loop of golden wire, almost blended in with the red and yellow leaves scattered around the base of the trees. Part of the cord trailed off and buried itself in a nearby moldy clump.

I put my foot down and nudged the edge of the loop. It whisked upwards, fluttering leaves all about me.

I looked up. The snare dangled five feet overhead like a noose. Murmurs filled the shadows.

“I think you missed me,” I called out.

Something rustled in the trees. I peered between the leaves and saw eyes. Large, hungry eyes. Red, with white pupils. They watched me closely. Big hands--clawed, I noticed--grasped the other end of the golden cord.

The loop lowered itself until it lay flat again, an inch beyond where I stood.

Something coughed, and then spoke in a voice that one might’ve had if their lips were the size, shape and consistency of rotted carp.

“Would you mind taking another step forward?”

“No, thank you,” I said.

“Are you sure?”

I let myself think it over. “Quite, thanks.”

A growling chorus filled the woods and then faded away.

“All right,” said the voice. “Sorry to bother. Just go on your way.”

It sniggered.

I stepped wide around the loop that still lay in my path. As I walked onward, I heard a disappointed, “Aww.”

After a dozen paces I stopped again and listened as something crashed through the brush beside me.

“I know you’re there,” I said.

“No you don’t,” said the carp-lipped thing.

“Yes, I do. I can hear you.”

It sounded offended. “I could be an entirely different vicious creature trying to trap you than the one before. You assume a lot.”

“Good point,” I said.

“I mean, these woods are rather big,” said my invisible stalker. “Did you know that some spots of the underbrush here are so thick, you can’t even hear a man scream when his skin is turned inside out?”

“Literally?”

“Oh, yes.”

“Fascinating.”

“Isn’t it, though?”

I strolled on, and it lumbered unseen beside me.

“Sure you won’t reconsider?” it asked.

“Hmm?”

“The whole giving yourself up to a fit of terror, thus sending yourself into a hot-blooded run so your bones are steaming and juicy when I pick them clean?”

“Oh, that.”

“Do try to have an open mind about it.”

“You mean by getting my skull scooped out?” I asked. “I’d rather not.”

Hungry whimpers came from littler shadows on my left.

“I’ve got kids to feed,” it said.

“Don’t we all. Look,” I glared at the trees, “I just wanted to go on a walk through the woods.”

“Fancy some temptations to lure you off the safe path?”

“What kind of temptations?” I asked.

The prickly green parted ahead a few feet shy of the path. A pale, naked woman stepped out and smiled at me.

I waited.

After a moment, a scaled claw reached out from behind the woman and manipulated her arm so she waved for me to come closer. Then the claw grabbed her jaw and bobbed it up and down as a guttural voice filled in the words.

“Fancy a lay down, love?” A cough, and the voice switched to falsetto. “There’s a nice cool stream to plop your feet in not too far from here. And I just so happened to pack a scrumptious picnic.”

I glanced aside, feeling embarrassed for the effort. It was trying so hard.

“Sorry,” I said. “She’s got maggots in her hair and one of her legs has been gnawed off to the knee.”

The body was yanked back inside the tree line. Something stomped about and fumed.

“Now you’ve gone all tall equine on me,” it said.

“What?”

“High horse. Falutin’ standards. Picky.”

Birds chirped in the branches above me. One chirper cut off with a squawk. After a moment, a feather drifted down and lighted on my shoulder. I brushed it off.  
  
“I’ve lost my touch, haven’t I?” the creature asked.

“It happens.”

“People used to look up to me.”

I squinted at its bulk, mostly hidden behind a swatch of leaves. “I bet if you didn’t hunch and knuckle along like that, they still would.”

It leaped out, a fell beast all dripping in gore, with slavering jaws and a string of skulls around its neck. I think they were sparrow skulls. Kind of cute, actually.

It roared in my face. Its cheeks flapped and a forked tongue flicked the tip of my nose. The roar gave out with a wheeze and sputter. It took a breath to start over.

I raised an eyebrow. “Are you finished?”

It swiped a claw over my head and then squatted in the dirt before me, scowling.

“What is it with you people these days? Why aren’t you afraid?”

“Who said we aren’t afraid?” I asked.

“You certainly don’t act like it.”

“That’s because I read the morning newspaper and watched the evening news,” I said.

It blinked, which took about five seconds, considering its bulging eyes. “I don’t understand.”

I crouched, mirroring its knuckle-bent stance.

“A girl,” I said, “was kept in a man’s basement for five years before police discovered her yesterday in a drug bust. She’s the same age as my daughter.”

It winced. I spoke on.

“Three boys tried to kill their math teacher for failing them on their last test. A woman drowned her three kids while bathing them and then shot herself for her husband to come home and find after work. A warlord is slaughtering thousands in a country I’ve never even heard of before. A sister shot her brother with her daddy’s gun because the boy wouldn’t share his toys. A suicide bomber took out the maternity ward of a hospital near where my brother is stationed. There’s a nationwide hunt going for a serial killer with the moniker Jolly Polly. See, he has this way of--”

“Enough,” it whispered, claws covering its red eyes. It cowered from me and wiped its runny nose. “You’re scaring me.”

I took its hand in mine. The scales weren’t as cold and slimy as I expected.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“You don’t have to be so monstrous, you know.”    

“I really do apologize.”

“I mean, who do you think you are, taking our jobs? It’s not fair.”

“Life isn’t--” I started to say. Then I found its flaring nostrils thrust half an inch from my eyes. Its belly rumbled.

“If you finish that sentence,” it said, “I’m going to forget all about the old ways and safe paths.”

“Fair enough,” I said.

We stared at each other for a trembling moment. Then it frowned and chewed its upper lip, pondering.

“Do you think…” It scratched in the dirt, not meeting my eyes. “Do you think you could teach me? Help me learn a few new tricks and traps?”    

I sat back on my heels.

“And how would I do that?”

“Oh, you know.” It grinned nervously, showing feathers stuck in its teeth. “Maybe bring a newspaper on your walks from now on. A few clippings even.”

“Because I love reading newspaper clippings on walks.”

“Who doesn’t?”

“And what would I do with these clippings?” I asked.

It fiddled with its skull necklace.

“Weather’s tricky around here. Might be a perfectly innocent breeze turns into a little devil that snatches them from your hands.”

“Don’t you mean dust devil?”

It blinked. “Do I?”

I stood, drawing it up with me.

“So, what do I get out of this?” I asked.

It rubbed its warty neck.    

“Might be something starts taking a watch over you. Makes sure your path is always safe, maybe? Might be you and your family can sleep knowing you already have a few monsters around and don’t need to worry about,” it gave a low snarl, “the other kind.”

“Might be?” I asked.

“Just might.”

I shook its claw, pulling away before the tips drew blood.

“This stays a secret?” it asked.

I smiled. “I look honest, don’t I?”

It peered at me. “Can never tell with your kind. Wouldn’t want the kids to find out.”

“Perish the thought.”

It nodded, satisfied, and turned to go. Then it paused. Its protruding eyes gleamed in the setting sun.

“You sure you don’t want that picnic? I really do have one set up.”

“What’s on the menu?” I asked.

“Jellied marrow, bile pudding and, er,” it licked its lips, “half a leg.”

I waved it onward. “No, no. Give it to the kids tonight. I insist.”

It patted me on the shoulder, and then shambled away into the evening gloom. Twilight gathered in its wake like bundles of gray wool spilling over the forest floor.

I waited until it vanished among the leaves. Then I pulled off the scrap of parchment it had stuck to my back in parting. It read, Devour Me, in dripping ink. I shook my head, smiling.

Something snickered in the shadows.